Why I Enjoyed Being Jealous. Past Tense.

I recently attended an information session at which a lady spoke about different types of people: those who visualise, those who verbalise, and those who feel in regards to ways that we communicate.

I am a visual person. When someone asks me what motivates me I typically respond with ‘I want to look good…’ or ‘I want other people to see…’ Whereas a ‘feeling’ person may respond with ‘I want to feel happy…’ or ‘I want to feel fit…’ Makes sense?

Now, I only bring this up because it is an easy way to realise two simple things that can fuel your motivation – you and everyone else. We have all heard or read enough to know that the former is probably a healthier way to go about things than the latter. Ideally you’d like your motivation to come from within yourself, rather than worrying or comparing yourself with others. Well, I like to think of myself as a realist and in doing so I’d like to acknowledge the fact that it’s hard to build this ‘healthy intrinsic motivation’. So I’d like share with you an idea on how to harness those external and seemingly ‘unhealthy’ motivating factors when you struggle to find motivation within.

It came to me the other day when my colleague mentioned that my life seemed ‘pretty cool’ as they heard about the hobbies I’d picked up recently. This got me thinking that as much as my lack of full-time employment annoyed me, I was happy that I’d finally decided to embrace life and enjoy the time off while I still had it. Here’s how THAT happened…

I had graduated from university about five months ago and was desperate for some income, experience, and for something to relieve my boredom. One night my cousin messaged me asking if I would like to come to a concert as they had spare tickets. I didn’t really know the band but I thought  ‘sure, why not?’ I hadn’t spoken to my cousins for a while and asked what they had been up to. One mentioned that they had been surfing for about a month now. Surfing. My initial reaction was a huge twang of jealousy as it was something I had always wanted to try. My next thought was ‘what the hell am I doing with my life?!’

That week I got my hands on a couple of surf boards and decided to give this surfing thing a decent crack. Despite it being the last day of summer when we started, my housemate and I have been going consistently for about a month now and are totally hooked! It’s probably not the easiest thing learning on a 5″8 fibre glass board from the 80’s but if we can learn on these, we can learn on anything.

Kelsey at surfing

Smiles all round on our typical 7am morning surf.


My point is: If you are jealous of someone for doing something that you’ve always wanted to do, then why not give it a decent shot?

Reflecting back on my recent endeavours to attend to this new found jealously and to cure my boredom, I’m quite happy with myself that I’ve tried (and thoroughly enjoyed) surfing, power lifting, and yoga. My new hobby that I’d like to try is running. This motivation to run comes from a unique type of jealousy that I like to call ‘Jealous of the Passion.’ See, I’m not jealous of other people that go running. I’m jealous of those that go and actually ENJOY it. This is my current mission. I will keep you posted.

In the meantime whenever you feel jealous, have a think about the reason why that is, and if it’s along the lines of ‘I want to see/feel/hear… ‘, then go and get it! You’ll probably end up being that person that others are jealous of. You probably already are!

Kelsey Surfing

My early days on a board and loving it!

Please note that I do not promote the feeling of jealousy as I think it is a destructive emotion. Rather, I’d like to promote the feeling of determination: to utilise this negative emotion and transform it into a positive one.

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